They say that people in your life are in for seasons, and everything that happens is for a reason...

Friday, November 20, 2020

Stand Up, Don't Shoot.

"That's the weird thing about explaining what comedians are like. Literally everything has a funny side."
-Trevor Noah
    The recently promoted anchor of Comedy Central's The Daily Show cruises through New York City via a collector's edition Ferrari with the most famous (at least the richest) comedian of them all, Jerry Seinfeld. Noah then discusses how nobody would laugh at Nelson Mandela's joke despite his incredible humor. "they were releasing Kruggerands with his face on them", the press asked him 'Mr. Mandela, how does it feel to go from being labeled as a terrorist in your country to now having on the currency of that same country?'' and he solemnly said 'that's how you know you've made it. you have your own money. No more talking to poor people." Noah and Seinfeld both explode with laughter. As do I, the not that funny viewer. Whether or not I believe his premise, the fact that Mandela would crack a joke about class inequality is hilarious regardless of the punchline. The word punchline itself summons images of a wily boxer, slipping by uppercuts and absorbing hooks to deliver zany jabs. It's a skill, to retaliate from life's ills with humor. And comedians are so flexible they can find the humor from life surrounding them, as well as their own. And one with heavy rewards in our entertainment-drenched society. It got Jerry Seinfeld a few collector's edition Ferraris and Nelson Mandela's face on a Kruggerand. I'm not so into it for the money as I am for the emotional malleability. What if I could bounce back from anything with a laugh?

"When I googled pictures of America, all I saw were pictures of  police and people fighting in the streets"
-Lasalo Vaitai
    He laughed. The elderly couple and I didn't. Before laying a foot on U.S. soil he received a call to be a missionary for the LDS Church. When he got the news, he did what everyone does when they're moving: check out the new scene. He made that google search a few days after Tamir Rice was shot by Timothy Loehmann. Protests ensued, and soon the story shifted from a terrible shooting to the boiling unrest between police and protester. Without context Lasalo saw a tumultuous depiction of the United States, moments after discovering he discovered God wanted him to teach the gospel. 
    "Vaitai" is Tongan for "dead water," and the conversation remained dead in the water for quite some time. His islander mindset let him to dead water upon multiple occasions, often producing hilarious results. He understood that "rough" could mean difficult but not that when you repeat the word it becomes a noise dogs make, so when people talked about stories about evictions, abuse, and spiritual heartache he'd pause and go "ruff ruff." We received news that there may be race riots downtown after a local police shooting and he responded, "I'm kind of black, should we go?" but no conversation was more dead in the water than when that quaint retired couple and I realized that our country was defined by violent arguments between law keepers and law speakers. I couldn't find a way to make that funny. 

"I would not so much as make water but in a sink-a-pace."
-Sir Toby Belch, 12th Night
    "That's getting cut." My drama teacher told me. I landed a sharp mark through the middle of the peeing joke, relieving my high schools censorship rules. Four years of Shakespearean acting, continuously playing the fool--Horatio, the Porter, Sir Toby--and I still wasn't allowed to have a potty mouth. Not that it was a personal hobby behind the scenes. To this day I've sworn three times offstage, and one of them was when I couldn't quite get the past participle of shoot. If I actively swore, not only would it be vulgar but it would be so awkward. Martha Stewart at a Korn concert would look more natural. But vulgarity onstage is different. Almost always there was art at its soul, whether comedic or tragic.
    In some ways I use this to reconcile my favorite comedians bludgeoning their routines with curses. Even Bill Cosby, the superficial model of a modern major comic, let one slip into his acts. Like Stephen Colbert and Jerry Seinfeld I would fall asleep to his records, playing them on my portable CD player. I'd giggle and snort for 20 minutes during Why is There Air? and then fast forward through half of "Hofstra" to avoid the bad words. My innocent 10 year old brain refused to be corrupted, even by Bill Cosby (I didn't realize that was a losing battle until much later). But fast forwarding became more difficult as I discovered modern comics: Jim Gaffigan, John Mulaney, Dmitri Martin. Their wit and character were so brilliant and fresh, I began consuming their stand up bits just like I did with Cosby's. And when they swore, it was emphatic, purposeful, timed. I craved their humor, their ability to make lemonade from lemons. I quickly learned to extract laughs from vulgarity.
    I reached a point of no return when I listened to comic geniuses Dave Chappelle, Wanda Sykes and Chris Rock. I realized they had a power searched for by ancients and contemporaries: emotional alchemy. They turned blackest moment to gold, maybe with some untouched coal still attached. Deep down, I insisted there was art behind comedy, and the further the mine went to discover it, the more valuable the art.

"We have an opportunity because I'm mad. But I don't have any good advice."
-"Killer Mike" Michael Render
    Killer Mike got his name from being so good at rapping he would "kill the mic." I first became acquainted with him through his feature on Outkast's "The Whole World," when he was not a pop culture/political lightning rod but an Atlanta kid having a shot with rap legends. Then my brother told me to look up his collaboration with New York rapper El-P. Together they made Run the Jewels, which not only is stylistically innovative group but also incredibly funny. Their first three albums make you dance and cringe and laugh with lines like "Beware of horses / I mean a horse is a horse of course but who rides is important." And at this point, Killer Mike has become a spokesperson on cable news and talk shows, discussing his vision to implement MLK policies all with twisted humor. And his various appearances with Bernie Sanders made for a visual comedy--a tall, skinny Vermonter with a 300-pound rapper.
    But their fourth album is almost pure anger. A few weeks prior, Atlanta native Rayshard Brooks was killed by a police officer in a Wendy's parking lot. Before, Minnesota cop crushed George Floyd's windpipe with the accumulated weight of a prejudice country. And America was enraged, Killer Mike included. In a press conference aired nationwide, he addressed the nation with raw emotion, buoyed by seemingly involuntary jokes. He called CNN "CartooN Network" and beating up prosecutors in the voting booth. Despite his wrath, comedy carried the burdens that became too much, 
    I watched the conference. I heard the album. I looked at videos of the millions across the United States brave enough to take the streets and demand a voice. It looked like chaos. Killer Mike, one of the most deservedly angry men in America, found a way to laugh. And I could not. 

"Too Bad."
-Kelsey Phelps
    We sat side by side every Music 101 class. She was incredibly bright and slipped pop culture witticisms under her breath during the lecture. I liked that she knew my favorite bands. A friendship made in heaven. 
    Until I asked her on a date. Knowing our quirky relationship, I thought it'd be fun to attend the weirdest concert BYU had to offer: Tuba Christmas! She loved the idea. The premise was absurd enough that nothing could go wrong. And nothing did go wrong because it never happened. I sat outside a modestly packed performance hall containing over 80 tubas for half an hour, and Kelsey never showed. I was astonished, defeating. The premise was too absurd. I may never see Kelsey again.
    But no. She had the gall to show up to Music 101 and sit in the exact same spot--as if I never asked her out. It was hard enough being stood up. But now I'm being gaslit? I asked what she did that weekend to see if she had an excuse and forget to text me. Nope. Stayed in her pajamas for 48 straight hours. She then politely asked how my weekend was.
"It was alright. I got stood up on a date." 
She gazed into my eyes with a cold fire. "Oh. Too bad."
Too bad....
Too Tu bad
Tubad.
Tuba'd.
Tuba'd at Tuba Christmas.
    I look in the mirror, exhausted after my first dry run. The "Too Bad" story caps a 30 minute set. Because admiration begets imitation which eventually begets emulation, I find myself 23, studying for the LSAT, a senior in college, and practicing for a stand up routine. A new notebook is quickly filling with golden stories and sharp observations. Everything is on the table; everything can be funny. The time I watched a fly ball carom straight off my forehead. The time I was high on pain meds and spoke Spanish to random people. Why do we think life advice from Billy Eilish is valid? 
    A comedian's early career often is terrifying and miserable. Trevor Noah worked six nights a week on two continents before becoming a staff writer for the Daily Show. John Oliver was so unpopular in England his audience often disappeared like cockroaches beneath a flashlight before he could finish his set. Dave Letterman's TV career was stymied for years after Robin Williams took over his comedy club. Steve Carrell, Stephen Colbert, and Louis C.K. all lost their first jobs as content writers after one season of The Dana Carvey Show. And here I was, tepidly dipping my toe in a big pool of pain at the Bar Stool Sports Comedy Club in Salt Lake City.
    Jerry Seinfeld once said "You can't really become a comic unless you've been poor. Otherwise your a jerk." And while almost every comic began with public humiliation by unimpressed audiences while barely affording rent, I would say "poor" may be replaced with "struggle." And from that struggle comes an impervious wisdom and humor. It is the only way. I want their wisdom, so I voluntarily submit to the struggle.

"You have no idea. I have no idea. There's a difference between having a liberal arts degree and being black."
-My Mom
    My mom is the funniest family member. And she could make that cutting statement funny.
Two months prior another horrible shooting was caught on a phone camera. Jacob Blake was shot. In broad daylight. Eight times. In his car. His children watching. And once again, the America flew into turmoil. My favorite baseball team boycotted two games in protest. A minor shot and killed two protesters (no, not rioters). My brother called me in rage. And I had enough. I could no longer watch people cry out in sorrow, I had to cry with them. The Saturday after Jacob Blake's shooting I drove to the state capitol to commemorate Martin Luther King Jr's March on Washington. I bought poster board from the dollar store and with black paint smeared the phrase "MLK WOULD SAY BLACK LIVES MATTER." My anger, sorrow, determination, and empathy led me to this moment. And I was not laughing. 
    At the time, it felt real. I remember being so nervous afterwards I told my best friend and brother and no one else. And when my Mom flung that scathing critique on me, I wanted to retort "but I took the streets. I marched mask-by-mask with my black siblings. I never will understand but I stand with them." But she didn't know I went to a protest yet. And the more I thought about, the more I realized I still wasn't one of th protesters Lasalo saw or achieving Killer Mike's anger.
    The protest was protected by the police. We were flanked by a motorcade. The streets on every side were blocked off by several hundred streets. The march was one way and was completely downhill. When we reached its end, at the Salt Lake City Chamber of Commerce, BLM of Utah provided food and water while a DJ played dance music. I was not shot at like those in Kenosha or downtown Provo. I was not teargassed like those in between the White House and St. John's Church. In reality, all I did was hold a sign while on a brisk walk, chanting catchy tunes with some like-minded people. And thinking about it that way made me laugh.

"Try wearing the mask I've been wearing all these years! I can't even tell something true unless it has a punchline before it."
-Dave Chappelle
    In one of his finest performances recorded, Chappelle controls the audience with incredible ease. They whir and shudder like a computer undergoing an overhaul. His audiences anticipate his impeccable craft, but his yo-yo-ing between explosive comedy and biting truths always take some adjusting. Once he finished his set with serious ideas on Kaepernick's protest, the #METOO movement, and on prostitution and capitalism's evils, solemn topics with an occasional gut-buster. They don't know when they'll be smiling and when they'll be moved, but both will happen. 
    It is the Saturday Night Live occurring only hours after major media outlets called Joe Biden to be president elect, and mixtures of exhaustion, celebration, frustration, and foreboding swirl around his feet. Chappelle not so-coincidentally was the host of SNL after the 2016 election. What most people assume when they hear a comedian with NSWF diction and irreverence is that he or she is out to watch the world burn, but he knows what it takes protest and laugh.
    "Do something nice for a black person--just because they're black. And you got to make sure they don't deserve it. It's a very important part of it. They can't deserve it. The same way all them years they did terrible things to black people just because they're black--and they didn't deserve it. If you're driving through the hood one day and see a black dude standing on the corner, selling crack, destroying his community... buy him an ice cream. Just buy him an ice cream. He'll be suspicious... but he'll take it."
    He asks the sparse group of masked New Yorkers on set to be humble winners. Learn how to forgive each other, and find joy in spite of that feeling, before leaving with one last joke. And I, in my own apartment, giggle while holding back tears. 




Friday, May 29, 2020

I Have Three Friends in Chicago

One of my favorite bands is from there.
So is Obama. And Oprah (kind of).
I know why it's called The Windy City (and it's not because of the wind).
Cold winters.
It has a massive bean which qualifies as art.
There's seemingly an 80% chance that cop/firefighter/doctor show on prime time is based there.
It's also a home for all four major sports teams.
Sufjan Stevens wrote an amazing song about it.


It's Chicago! And that's an exhaustive list of what I know about it and what it means to me. But there are people there that mean something to me. Three friends, each made during different points of my life, are floating in a sea of 2.7 million people next to Lake Michigan. The strength of friendship fluctuates between each of them, but truth be told--I really like all of them. Can't exactly say why, but they mean so much to me.

This connection with my Chicagoan friends and how they don't seem to intersect at all makes a bizarre journal of my life. It seems that wherever I have been, Chicago has a piece of me with it. Through these friends, a city holds my history, no matter how distant it is.

Here are a few stories about each of them.

LAUREN, FROM HIGH SCHOOL
One time me, Lauren, and some other members of our high school drama group volunteered to do tech work for a travelling acting group. we got an excused absence from school and did 12 hours of slave labor. We had about an hour break, and we all went out and got some really nasty pizza. It looked like it had cancerous lumps on it.
The company was an Irish dancing group. The crew was gregarious. A guy who looked like Liam Neeson pulled a prank on me and he laughed at me the rest of the night. Lauren and I hung out the whole time.

She once tried to make moonwalking a requirement at a musical tryout. I'm pretty sure she succeeded.

One time she gave me a ride home and we were listening to "Lisztomania." The line came up where it sounds like they're saying "Like a rhino / not easily offended" and I turned to her and said "contrary to this song, Rhinos are easily offended." We laughed a lot.

Easily the most underappreciated actress during the time I spent with her.

It's been a long time since I have seen Lauren, which is a real shame. Her Instagram stories are the best in the business. Quality original content. She's incredibly genuine, someone who I call a "corner" friend. If you ever got backed into a corner, you'd want her by your side. And best of all, she'll always go along with your jokes.

Lauren is the incredibly happy person next to the tall, scarved me.I have a lifelong trend of not taking photos with people, making it incredibly difficult to locate one. 


ERIN, FROM COLLEGE
Erin and I have similar music tastes, which is fantastic. There's a very small cluster of friends that I share musical taste with. Anytime she mentions a song on social media, I look it up. We bonded over Bon Iver's 22, a million album.

We were in the same play together. She was a stone. I was the lord of the underworld. The more I look back, the more I love that play. But the actors I worked with were even better. So much talent was in that little play. While I sadly flaked out of BYU's acting major, a lot of those people stayed in theater, Erin included. She was a professional through in through. Powerful and humble.

Her friend came to support her one night. She was really nice. I ended up marrying her. To this day that was the only time Ashley has seen me act.

I really enjoy following her escapades. I think she's brave and highly admirable. Hopefully Chicago treats her well.

Erin is the redhead in the middle, as I am the suited man on the left. This was a beautiful, moving play and she blew the doors off with her performance.


FRANK, FROM MY MISSION
Missionaries and those they teach tend to bond. But Frank and I have gone beyond that. It has been three and a half years since I taught him, and we've reached out to each other at least once a week ever since. Who knows why.

The first time I met him he wore a Yale shirt because my companion's last name was Yale. And he said Hall and Yale sounded like Hall and Oates. I included three references to Hall and Oates in that lesson, and he picked them all up, if I'm not mistaken.

I was feeling pretty blue when a girl dumped me and gave Frank a call. I opened the conversation with a joking backhanded compliment so sharp I'm surprised he stayed on the call. He laughed and said "I'm pretty sure you're the only person that can get away with saying that."

Through a sequence of events he became my best man. He did a great job at it. At the wedding he got to meet my family. Now he's kind of like one of us--for better or for worse.

Frank is on the left. I am incredibly grateful for our friendship, no matter how abnormal it may be.

These stories are what Chicago holds. It is a city of records, and it sort holds bits of my home with it. In that sense, it is like one of my favorite songs from my Chicago bands, "via Chicago." Somehow, I come home via Chicago, even if I don't fully understand it.


And yes, I am pretty sure I have some cousin there too. Don't have any connection to them at all. Sorry. Wish I did.







Monday, April 6, 2020

What Was This Strokes Song Doing in the 70's?

There was some dang good music coming out in 1979. In fact, three iconic "band shirt" albums were released within this 12-month period: Pink Floyd's The Wall, The Clash's London Calling, and the immortalized Unknown Pleasures from Joy Division. You most likely cannot go one week on a college campus without seeing someone owning merchandise directly related to these albums. This short list fails to include other generational albums like AC/DC's Highway to Hell and Michael Jackson's iconic Off the Wall, which does not get the same love as Thriller but may a more complete selection of tracks. And even these additions exclude substantial releases from Tom Petty, David Bowie, Talking Heads, Elvis Costello, and Fleetwood Mac. Seriously, this year was loaded.

1979 was dope
That was a lot of name drops, and all deserve recognition. But I'm here to discuss only one song from '79, and it is not "The Wall" or "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough." Despite the ambitious trailblazing in sound and culture done by many of these bands, they all have a dated feel. "Oh, this is prime 80's music" is what most people would say, or "That's too much synthesizer."

There was one song by XTC which had to have been teleported from the 21st century. "Making Plans For Nigel" reached no. 17 at its peak popularity, but maybe would have broken the charts with the Strokes and Interpol. A reserved but fiery drum intro and muted guitar crashes sounds like a prototypical "Obstacle 1." Lead singer Andy Partridge curls snarky ironies around distant wails like a deep track from Funeral, the guitar solos show a calmer fire, much like the anthemic "Reptilia." The only part of the song which exposes its age is a jangly bridge which fizzles with early punk reverberations. The overall product would survive much better if placed alongside Is This It rather than Highway to Hell.


Why has this impressively predictive song not lasted in pop culture as much as its other dated contemporaries? Well, it's hard to enter mainstream recognition when you sound so different. "Making Plans For Nigel" came out at a time where "My Sharona," Gary Numan's "Cars," and this gem dominated the charts. And XTC never really converted towards a mainstream sound for the remainder of their small period of relevance. "Making Plans for Nigel" slipped through the cracks.

Critics have looked back and championed XTC's 1979 Drums and Wires. Paste has it as the 21st best album of the year, and Pre-Conde Nast (*cough* sell out *cough*) Pitchfork has it as the 38th album of the entire decade. But the critical eye rarely translates into the public one. So the next time you make your moody National/Strokes/XX playlist, don't skip out on XTC's biggest hit.